Maintain Your Emotional Boundaries
Do you find people taking advantage of your being nice? playing with your emotion? Intruding too much in your personal space? Excessively adjusting to fit in relationships.
You speak defensive, feel like a victim, act like a bully. Your self-esteem loses its existence, sometimes, you find yourself stressed and burned out. Your self-identity lost somewhere on the planet and you feel highly disapproved.
You need strong emotional boundaries. People trade on you when you are liberal, too easy to convince and too kind to be walked over. It doesn’t take anything from people but ruins everything you have for you inside.
Boundaries are limits that we set for others, which indicate acceptance and non-acceptance of their behavior towards us.
Unhealthy boundaries cause emotional pain, dependency, stress, anxiety and physical illness. Lack of boundaries invites people to be careless with your sentiments. Whereas, setting up too rigid boundaries may leave you in isolation.
Remember, no one can walk over you unless you give them that liberty. Always keep your emotional walls high.
Know your self-worth:
Having high emotional boundaries don’t make you selfish, it just an indication that you care about your feelings.
You should know where to put yourself first. It keeps you emotionally balanced, provides peace of mind and positive outlook to live in present. And when you enter into a better place, you can honor your given role, a sign of healthy relationship.
You might feel guilty speaking up to your elders or family members, even you know taking up an advantage of your love.
Fear, guilt, rejection, self-doubt are major pitfalls to enforce boundaries. We are tagged with good son/daughter and nobody taught us to say no.
Yes, we all share this planet, but there should be some places that you should reserve for your own self.
Filter people’s opinion:
We have brought up in a world, where we see ourselves through others eyes. We don’t form our own thinking unless we are forced to do.
When you have transparent emotions that allow everybody to enter in your abode, soon you caught up in the mid of hurricane with no protection.
Whatever people say is not always right for you. You don’t need to listen too much. Explain your boundaries what you are and what people think of you. Don’t give them a damn of you hypersensitivity.
Decide your core values:
There are many aspects on which you can adjust. But still, there should be strictly some virtues or values that define you, you better not compromise of those places. Think, what you’re comfortable with and what makes you highly uncomfortable.
Don’t pick up someone else’s values. And forget all that you were taught in your earlier life; don’t say lie, be honest, respect elder and so on. Just think, what matter to you and only pick those ones.
Please, be Specific:
You cannot be close to everybody. And you certainly should not open your heart everywhere. Clearly define your physical and emotional boundaries with family, friends, colleagues, partner, and stranger.
People aren’t mind reader, if someone poke in your boundaries, be assertive. In a respectful polite manner, let the person know what particular is bothersome to you.
At the end, you are responsible for your own self.